She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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