if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
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