exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
