And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize