I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
