Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
this just has baby written all over it
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Randomize
