Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
