You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
