I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
