haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
