Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
