Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
