I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
