so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
