he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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