She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
