You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
farters have to be the big spoon...
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Randomize
