Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
