he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
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