Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
