I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
We are all done wearing pants today
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize