So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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