Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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