we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
