I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
two words...techno handjob
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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