So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
