Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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