there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
