yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
