Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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