the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
