I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
