god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
