so explain again why im purple
no
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
