covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
