There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
