That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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