apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
