do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
