Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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