Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
