I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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