He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
