i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Randomize
