Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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