I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Randomize
