I hope mine doesn't look like that
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
