who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
