Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
