Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize