My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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