never play flip cup with pint glasses
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
