Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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