Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
