i just had sex bonerless
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
