I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
