have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
