awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
