Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
