ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
