fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize