So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
