Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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