I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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